Friday night Daniel, his friend Dave and Elijah went on a church camp out to Calico. It’s a desert area out past Barstow. Pretty far drive, like maybe 2 and a half hours. Someone always brings a lot of fireworks (I mean like an insane amount) and the kids go crazy (I mean like totally insane) with them. Daniel and Dave brought dirt bikes.
Nathaniel and I drove out Saturday morning. There’s a ghost town in Calico, it’s a tourist trap, but I knew I could get some cool pictures there. And there’s some small abandoned houses nearby I wanted to get pics of, too. You know, falling apart, covered in graffiti.
The boys of course complained about how boring it was and just wanted to go home.
So on the way home Elijah said something funny, I can’t remember what. I asked him if he ever thought about becoming a writer. He said yeah, and asked why I asked. I told him he was really creative.
He said, “Yeah, I’ve got creativity coming out the wazoo.”
Which made us laugh.
Then he said, “I excrete creativity. There, I just excreted some…And it smells really bad.”
Which made us laugh some more. Until Nathaniel noticed something that actually did smell bad. “ELIJAH!”
I must’ve been really tired because I get into this state sometimes where if I start laughing too hard, I just start bawling. Like seriously crying really hard and I can’t stop. I was on the edge of that at this point. And Elijah just kept going…
“That will be the opening joke of my comedy routine. It’s only my second best. You always open with your second best and save your first best for last.”
Nathaniel: “You’re going to fart for your opening joke? And that’s your second best? What is your first best?”
Elijah: “I don’t have one.”
(This is where I lost it. Seriously. Crying.)
Nathaniel: “Then how do you know it’s only your second best?”
Elijah: “I just do. It smells second best.”
I was dying. Nathaniel became concerned, since he was sitting in the front seat and could see I wasn’t really able to drive and laugh and cry hysterically at the same time.
Me, in between gasps and sobs: “Stop!”
Nathaniel: “Elijah! Stop!”
Elijah: **more random hilarious stuff**
Nathaniel: “Elijah, stop! You’re going to get us killed!”
Killed by a fart joke. Just think about the potential gravestone epitaphs. Like a goldmine.
I forbade anyone to speak until I was sure I was not going to start crying again as soon as they opened their mouths.
Here’s a few pics.
Dave on a dirtbike:
Daniel on our new minibike:
Best buds:
Elijah and Nathaniel by the truck and tent. I’m glad I didn’t have to sleep in there, air mattress or no.
An example of the fun the kids had in the desert:
Only a mother’s nightmare.